Freudian Slip

By Kyoko Kuroda

Love can make us feel warm, happy and high. On the other hand, nothing in this world is more capable of making us feel depressed and miserable. The love/sex impulse can drive absolutely anyone crazy and insane no matter how smart and educated they are, but knowing how to deal with it may help us stay collected.

Lisa Nowak, 43, is a former astronaut for shuttle Discovery was smart, educated and extremely driven. She was capable of managing multiple difficult roles such as mother, wife, astronaut and, of course, a woman, until her affair with her coworker, Oelefein, 42, who left her for another female, Shipman, 30, caused the deadly episode she found herself embroiled in.

On February 5th 2007, she drove a thousand miles with multiple deadly weapons, wearing an astronaut’s diaper to discard bathroom stops, to confront Shipman at Orlando International Airport, in Florida. She followed Shipman in disguise (with a wig and a trench coat) and attacked her with pepper spray. She was caught and charged with attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery and destruction of evidence (the attempted murder charge was later dropped). Her trial is coming up in September.

We would like to believe we can choose how we act by using logic. But sometimes we are driven by our uncontrollable impulses. Nowak’s crazy behavior was a result caused by her love/sex impulse, which is an extremely strong force.

So, was Nowak mentally insane? No, probably not. But certainly the main ingredients for stable mental health were missing from her life. Different theorists believe in different ingredients. The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, believed in two pillars of mental health, the ability to love and the ability to work.

For Nowak, exploring space was not just a job, it was her life. However, after the anticipated mission in July ’06, it was all over. She had no more goals in life. She felt as if her work (thus the meaning in her life) was over.

She separated from her husband and lost her lover, Oelefein, around the same time. She felt her love life was doomed. She lost both pillars of mental health all together, expediting the process of her mental breakdown.

Let’s go little deeper and try to use Freudian terms to examine her life. It’s likely that many people have heard the terms “id,” “ego,” and superego,” but what are they? The Id is what you want to do, after ignoring all the consequences of the behaviors. The superego is the super rigid and upright part of us and the ego is a mediator, trying to settle disputes between id and superego by taking a middle path. Thus, mental health requires a strong ego.

In Nowak’s case, her id screamed “I want to be and will be with Oefelein!” Her superego howled back “No, no, don’t be silly. I have to be perfect at work, love and being a mother!” In an ideal situation, her ego should have said “I want to be with Oefelein, but it is not happening, and I am happy with what I have now, and I can go on.” But her mental health was not in a good shape. Her ego failed to defend against the attacks from id and superego.

Hillary Clinton is another very successful woman who had her life all together. But suddenly, she was put into a center of public humiliation by her husband’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. Clinton must have had very strong urges and a wish to get rid of Lewinsky. But she did not go after Lewinsky to get rid of her. She managed not to assault Lewinsky or not to do anything unreasonable, she did not act out on her id, and her ego managed her impulses, which saved her from further public humiliations. She earned the public’s support instead, putting the incident behind her and stepped forward to make her life even better with “eros,” which will be discussed later. This example illustrates once again why mental health requires a strong ego.

So, is there a name for the conflict among id, ego and superego? Yes, it is called “intrapsychic conflict”, and “defense mechanism” another famous piece of Freudian lingo, promptly comes in to rescue us. So what exactly is defense mechanism? It is the ego’s way to resolve intrapsychic conflict. There are many forms, and Nowak could have used repression, denial, projection, regression, fantasy, rationalization, (sublimation). Definition of these defense mechanisms can be found on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_mechanism.

Here is how some of these defense mechanisms are applied to her case.

Projection- She wanted to steal Oefelein back from Shipman. But the thought was undesirable, she projected that feelings onto Shipman, thinking Shipman wanted to steal Oelefein from her, so she wanted to stop her.

Rationalization- Astronauts wear adult diapers in space, so she rationalized the idea of wearing a diaper for another occasion when she can’t use bathroom. After love/sexual impulse got involved, she had lost her ability to test the reality because she was in a fixed delusional state.

Regression- Dependency on diaper, loss of anal and bladder control. “I hate Shipman! I will and can get rid of her”, which is a very infantile impulse.

Sublimation- She created very passionate love letters, which could be a form of art. If she could have used this energy for something more productive, art, poem, music etc, it would have been the best.

Displacement- One fortunate aspect of this incident is that she did “not” use displacement. She did not take her anger on her children, (less powerful objects) as she has been reported to be a very good mother.

These are not really difficult, right? After all, we all use defense mechanisms unconsciously in our daily lives. Ok, let me introduce one more set of Freudian concepts, “eros” and “thanatos.” Eros is a positive self-preserving energy, enabling the individual to share and achieve unity. Thanatos is a death instinct that compels humans to engage in risky and destructive behaviors that could lead to death (personal death), the ultimate release from the tension of life.

Nowak had many hobbies. But after the heavenly high in the space, they became too dull to enjoy. She was driven by the dark side of her success by thanatos in order to get away from the tension from both her life after the mission and the love triangle, instead of making use of her success with eros. In the end, her thanatos defeated eros completely, causing the deadly episode.

One time exceptional success associated with the ultimate high feelings could make one’s continued life difficult. It makes us feel trapped in our past success, difficult to focus on the future. But there is a way to help eros beat thanatos. Kate Winslet once said that nothing she would do could top a success of Titanic, but she was happy because she knew she continued acting because she simply loved it. Winslet’s eros stayed strong, beating thanatos, helping her to go on with her continued life with a positive attitude by keep doing what she loves, without being trapped by destructive thanatos.

Understanding what affects our lives and how, (id, ego, superego, conscious, preconscious, unconscious, eros, thanatos and their interactions) could help us understand why we behave in a way we do and why we are driven to act out sometimes. Extreme stress and anxieties may weaken our ego strength, but with proper understandings of ourselves, we have power to realize the consequences of our behavior and work around the reality. When mental balance is shaken, examine your ability to love and work, resist the controlling id and remind yourself that you do not need to feel pressured by the superego. With ability to love and work, strong ego and eros, our chances of beating uncontrollable impulses and staying collected are optimized, and we can go on having sunnier lives!